I quit my job 2 years ago today

I posted this on instagram 2 years ago:

I had just come home from my last graveyard shift working for the state.

So many emotions that day.
I was excited
I felt free
I was nervous
I felt judged
I was scared
I felt motivated
I was experiencing the unknown for the first time.

Learning how to let my heart take the wheel was something I've always dreamt of, but only decided to take action on that dream in 2016 when I decided that "heart take the wheel" would be my new life motto.

Using my life motto as a business name didn't happen until later and never really was the plan, but I'm so happy I went in head first with my motto and made it a life-long adventure instead of just a motto for the year.

2016 was a big year for me. I took my new life motto very seriously. 

  • I started a second business
  • I attended WPPI for the first time
  • I finally saw I was in denial my whole life regarding depression
  • I faced fears and saw a therapist
  • I started learning how to help myself
  • I quit my FT graveyard job for the state
  • I took all my money and traveled Europe for 30 days
  • Came home and hustled (after resting up for 2 weeks)
  • I started collaborating more
  • I challenged myself to get out of my own way
  • I challenged my perfectionism
  • I started teaching others (despite my self criticism that I couldn't)
  • I said YES to things I normally would hide from and NO to things I usually would feel obligated to do

Yea, 2016 was challenging, exciting, scary, new, and full of all the emotions.

I felt I had a ton of support, but also super duper alone.
I felt alone because my whole life I depended on my logic to guide me and I followed it without question.
So when I decided to give the mic to my heart and follow it for a while, I was terrified.
Logic made me feel safe and it felt like that friend who holds your hand the entire way.
Heart is that friend that cliff dives into water and then yells at you to join them.

So this was new.

I kind of got off on a tangent about my deep feelings around what was going on with me 2 years ago, but I felt it important to let you know I didn't just quit my job because I was financially ready or my business was taking off.
I quit because I needed to as a human.
Because while logic kept me safe, it also showed me what it was like to not be happy. It showed me how to daydream most of the day instead of taking action. It showed me how to just deal with things regardless of how I felt. It showed me how to make money and how to use it all trying to get happy. 

I'm not saying running around like a crazy person following your heart off cliffs is the right way to live, but I am saying I needed that for a while before I could learn how to balance my heart & brain a little better.

I still give my heart more driving time, though. It's way more fun.